“Life”, this is only one word but for us it’s the whole world. We all are always thinking of it like we breathe, whether its yours or mine or even some stranger’s life. It controls our thought process, and is the greatest teacher. It teaches you everything as you go on, from having courage to being successful, but its up to you as a student how much you value it.
You might have heard from your elders, “Real life begins after college” or “you will know what real life is”. Its because they know that once you get out of the protecting umbrella of your school, college and family, you will be put in the rainfall, which can be as gentle as drizzle, but can also come as flood, its up to you how you face it.
But, there are many of us, who are in the downpour since our childhood, the reason can be any, looks? Brain? Body? Family?stammering?, anything, because this world is unfair to everyone. Some overcome it by holding on to a strong support but some fail and get washed away.
I know no one wants to be washed away, right? So, come, lets find that strong support to hold to face this.
Today, we will talk about a very common problem that many kids or youngsters face, “STAMMERING”. Yes, it is a common problem, you are not the only one who is facing it, there are many who face it and who have also overcome it.
Stammering is not a disease that needs medicine, it is a mental state that needs you. Yes, the strongest support I am talking about is “YOU”.
To find this strong support within you lets take a journey into the life of a common and an ordinary boy having stammering problem and facing extremely tense conditions but who fought against them and emerged as a successful person.
Real story of STAMMER to ORATOR, failure to success
Here it starts,
Facing stammering problem as kid
Vikki was a kid when he first realized that he had some major issues with his speech. Some relatives gathered at his home, he was very excited but his excitement soon vanished. He wanted to greet his uncles and aunts but he started stammering , and then came the criticism. Every person told him that he should not speak like this. Some even told his parents that they should correct him whenever he spoke like that and his parents felt embarrassed. This was the first setback for him and he was so small that he also didn’t know what he should do, the only thing he knew was that he should not speak like this otherwise people would laugh at him.
Stammering hindering personality development
Next stage of life was far cruel than previous, as it was school life. At the time of attendance, all students used to say “present sir” but Vikki was told to reply only in “Ha” or “ji”, because as per his teacher, he was wasting time of the class while stammering and saying “Pppppreeeeeseeent Ssssssir”. He was a brilliant student, always in top three students in examinations, but his class performance was not good. The reason was that he did not used to answer the questions of teachers, as he knew if he would answer, he would stammer and then the whole class would laugh at him. He didn’t participate in any debate or elocution competitions because of his fear of stammering although he had knowledge of every subject.
Some of his classmates were good enough to ignore his weakness, his stammering and became his friends but not all are kind and they would laugh at him, due to this his confidence was getting low day by day. There were lots of advises to him by lots of people to stop stammering like speak before you think, speak slowly but none of them told him how to do that and he was not mature enough to find out a way.
What? Are you seeing yourself in the story. I told you this uncommon story is about a common boy.
He used to avoid parties and never had courage to talk to strangers because of stammering. He always relied on his brother to speak on his behalf. It lead him to be an infamous person. He put on a mask to give everybody signal that he was okay, but in reality he was suffering day after day.
This is how, his life continued all through his years in school and he turned into a shy and reserved person who was afraid of talking and thus, no one exactly knew what he was. A talented person turned into a dumb person.
Next came, the glorious time of everybody’s life, the college. He maintained his position of a good student even in graduation and thus, many students wanted to be his friend just for his notes and teachings, but behind his back, they would laugh at him.
Realized what is stammering
He became frustrated of his life, many times he wanted to give his own ideas but he could not just because of his hesitation of stammering. He realized then that its high time, he should do something about his stammering.
He started reading articles about how to stop stammering and even went to doctors, but eventually found out that doctors were of no help. He kept on his research and realized that only he could help himself.
He found out that stammering is nothing but your nervousness, your hesitation and lack of thoughts organization, also its because of lack of pace and rhythm e.g. many people who stammers are very good singers and while singing they don’t stammer, that’s because they know the rhythm and pace of that song.
Found out how to stop stammering
Focused on improving his speech and getting his stammering cured, he started taking some steps.
- doing breathing exercise as first step to control his breath while speaking
- controlling nervousness by telling himself that he could do it
- started reading loudly from books in a very slow speed
- Started singing no matter how bad it was
- practiced in front of the mirror how he should talk to strangers
- made a point that he talked even though he was nervous and hesitant because only by facing your fears you can overcome it
- Practiced speaking on random topics in front of mirror.
.Slowly, he started making progress and his speech improved a little bit, he kept on practicing it. But all of this is not a one night process, it takes time to change mental state
Stammering made him indecisive as he was under confident
Then, came the crucial point like you all are facing, choosing a career. After doing 12th from commerce, he wanted to do CA at that time as there were not lots of options and people generally didn’t know about others, but his brother and society turned him towards banking.
He started preparing for Bank Recruitment but as he finished his preparation, the board(BSRB) holding that examination got abolished. At that time he also thought that all his hard work had gone into drain. He tried many other government recruitment exams like SSC, because of his preparation for banking, he used to qualify prelims but never qualified mains, because he lost interest in those, he never prepared for mains seriously. But he continued his stammering exercises to stop it.
In the meanwhile, he recognized that he had a passion for teaching, previously he hesitated because of his stammering, but he was a lot better with practice and could speak with without stammering. He got to know that for being a teacher in colleges, one should get Phd so he decided to complete his post graduation and then his Phd.
There was a gap of two years between his graduation and post graduation and because of that he was often criticized for not getting into any career, but he focused on his post graduation as he had find his passion and was all set to achieve it and also kept working on his stammering to achieve this.
Failures can’t stop you if you believe in yourself
But life has its own way, as he completed post graduation he found out that only those who qualified NEET could be a professor and he did not want to waste more time on preparing for it. He just wanted to be in a job and earn money as soon as possible, as all his fiends got settled in the mean time into their careers. He was the only one who was still finding ways.
In those depressing moments, someone offered him a job an Labour Office in exchange of some money, and guess what the job title was of a clerk. Seriously, this is what we call a downpour, he was facing it and there was no one except him, he could hold on to. Life was being cruel, a top class student was ready to take up such a petty job.
This was not enough, he got another hard blow, when even after paying that person was unable to secure a job from him, he was a fraud. That was the darkest phase of his life. He overcame his weakness by doing hard work and was ready to face the world but after downpour, now the world was throwing pebbles on him and he had nowhere to hide. He was slandered by others. He broke down several times. After being slandered by his father, he got courage to face that person and successfully got his money back.
But still his career was not set up. To have some basic earning, he started his own coaching for commerce students as he had this passion for teaching. That was his interest area so he put in lots of efforts in it and as expected his students respected and trusted him a lot. He was the best teacher that they had met. He made that possible by his own efforts, the person who used to stammer always was then, teaching students in a fluent way.
He was overwhelmed by all this but he wanted to set a good example for them, he still considered himself a failure and was determined to find a way. This was going to be his turning point.
When you are in the darkest period of your life, and if you can go through it, you will always find light after that.
He also experienced it, his personal life was also taking a turn, he met his love of life in the coaching, yes she was his student. She was an enthusiastic and passionate girl with lots of dreams.
He wanted to be successful, he wanted to set an example for his student, thus to secure his future, he got back to ground ZERO.
Its never too late
Yes, after 7 years he again got back to his first decision, he opted to do CA. Though all his peers were settled, he decided to take a new career path. It was not an easy decision as he knew it would take another 3-4 years for him to settle, but he had to take that call.
He started preparing for it with all his heart, even he took classes from his childhood friend who was a CA then, in his coaching with other students. That was quite embarrassing but he thought about life and dug that feeling deep in his heart.
With focus and support from his family and friends, he qualified his first stage of CA in first attempt and went for training in Delhi. Though everything started to fall in place, he still faced hardship as his father shut down his business and he could not spend money of his father, he became a miser, though he had a girlfriend then.
Converting failures to success
He faced another failure from life when he failed his Main exam of finals just by 6 marks, he was under stress what to do because he was facing serious issue in his personal life. He was engaged to his girlfriend then and their parents had decided their marriage date. He didn’t want society to talk behind his back, saying the boy is doing nothing.
At that time, he got his motivation from his fiancee, who showed confidence in him and asked him to go for it. He started preparing again and yes, he qualified and also became a district topper. He was overjoyed, now he had his career in one hand and his love in another. This was the end of his struggle.
A big NO
He still didn’t have a job, he was married but he was trying to settle his career. As he loved teaching he decided to open a coaching institute for CA students and also started his own practice with his love, his wife as his partner. It took time to settle the office and coaching but they both worked hard to create their own future. There were times when they were unable to enjoy like other newly weds, but they were content with each other and were optimistic about their future.
A new begining
As time passed, he gained praises from his students and started taking personality development classes.
What surprised, you should be. Yes, that shy, underconfident, hesitant person with stammering problem is now a great ORATOR. He is inspiring and motivating others now. He is also in foreground in his office, meeting with new clients, handling tax cases as representative of clients and he is also in self marketing now. Obviously to grow his office and coaching he has to show himself as a product in front and he is quite good in that, he brings almost all the work in office.
Right now he is enhancing his skills to become a life coach.
In this process, he also learnt anger management, as anyone facing such hardships would have, he also had bad temper, but his wife made him realize it and he started controlling it. Now, he is charmer, anyone who meets him adores him and he is a confidante of many people.
Teaching of life
So, you can see that failure are nothing but a way to lead you to your destined path and teach you the hardships of life. Be like Vikki, face your fears and overcome it, if you have support of friends and family well and good and if not then you have yourself. There is no good friend than yourself.
Read inspiring books like this article and keep yourself motivated because when a spring is pressed its bound to jump back, so take these failures in great spirit and make a great comeback and show this world that you can face anything and be successful.
Last but not the least, let me tell you that this person is very close to me, he is none other than my husband “CA Vikas Bansal”
Tips from him to cure stammering
- Start speaking slowly
- Don’t use long sentences in a breath
- Take pauses while speaking
- don’t fix your eyes, rotate them
- Do breathing exercise
- Get rid of your hesitation, don’t think what society says, they are not going to help you in anyway
- Try to structure your thoughts
- Practice pace and rhythm by singing songs
- Practice daily in front of mirror